When it comes to hosting a baby shower for that special mom to be, there are some unspoken baby shower etiquette rules everyone should follow. Seriously, planning a surprise baby shower is hard enough without thinking about all of the rules of this process–so I’ve helpfully pulled them all together for you.
I’m so helpful like that.
If you’re still looking for baby shower themes, too, you should check out my Big List of Baby Shower Ideas. You’ll be sure to find a theme you think will fit your mommy-to-be.
Way back when, before I became the “designated” shower-planner for my group of friends, I had no idea that there were so many rules that no one really talks about. That is until I did some research.
Now, I feel like I can be a resource if you’re planning a surprise shower or attending a one in the near future.
Unspoken Baby Shower Etiquette Rules Everyone Should Follow
Everyone Is Welcome
Back in the older days a traditional baby shower only involved the mom-to-be and her lady friends or relatives. The rules have completely changed.
Everyone is welcome.
Dudes, dads, friends, family members four times removed, whoever. Everyone.
The key to really knowing who is welcome to the shower is to read the invitation carefully. Some baby sprinkles and showers are co-ed events, or kid-friendly, while other surprise showers are for adult women only.
You’ll only know this if you look at the baby shower invitations, though, so read those closely so you know what guest to bring or not to bring.
All About Mom To Be
It may be difficult for some guests to put all of the focus on the mom to be but that’s the unspoken baby shower etiquette everyone should follow.
While the shower games may place some focus on the guests, at the end of the day this shower is all about celebrating the pregnancy of the mom to be. A baby shower is a time for the mom to be to have some laughter, fun, and joy before she dives into motherhood with a newborn.
So, the focus needs to be on the guest of honor. Feel free to shower her with attention and hugs. But don’t monopolize her time to have fun.
If she looks like she needs a drink, offer to get her one. If she looks like she needs a break from someone, offer to help her. Take the stress off her by offering to write the thank you note list, keep a guest list of people who attended (even if they didn’t bring a gift) and just shower the guest of honor with love.
Make sure she is the center.
Keep Conversation Light
Do not be that guest who ends up asking questions about sensitive topics at the baby shower. Remember that the mom to be has a lot of emotions right now with hormones going all over the place and the worries of a soon to be mom.
Try to keep the conversation light by discussing things like how beautiful the mom to be looks and other topics that don’t pry too much into her personal life.
Offer to help her if she seems tired or seems a little sad. But don’t ask why and do no pry. She’s probably feeling a little overwhelmed as she attends the shower and gets closer to her due date–and you don’t want her to break down in tears when she’s supposed to be having a good time.
Get the Gifts She Wants
I don’t care if you’re the one who throws a baby shower, you have to be considerate when you buy gifts for the mom-to-be. You absolutely must get items from her baby registry.
If she when through all the trouble to register for gifts and work out a plan for how she wants to accessorize her baby…well, she gets what she wants.
Don’t go off-script and get her that carseat that YOU loved. Let her be the parent and get the carseat she picked. You might not know what she’s got planned with that gift.
Maybe she picked the car seat that went with the stroller that her mom already bought her or she is decorating the whole nursery in duckies–and then you go and buy a giraffe.
Don’t be that person. Use her registry.
Be a Good Friend
Last, but not least, remember that you’re a guest at this event, even if you have chosen to host a shower. The day is all about the mom-to-be and isn’t a place to sit in the corner and gossip about life with other guests or somehow try to keep it on a schedule of some kind. It’s ok to create a baby shower checklist and try to keep up with things on your own time, but don’t rush the guests or, particularly, the guest of honor.
It’s important that you follow this important unspoken baby shower rule as a means to be a good friend and engage with the mom to be during baby shower games and in between.
That way she knows you’re there to be a good friend not catch up with other guests.
Baby showers have changed over the years. While some surprise baby showers are laxer and women can wear pants or men can be in attendance, there are still some unspoken baby shower etiquette rules everyone should follow as a means to keep this special occasion fabulous for the mom to be.
These tips will surely help you and your guests enjoy their time at the next baby shower you host.
Baby Shower Theme Ideas
Once you know what it means to have good manners at a shower, you’re going to find yourself in charge of hosting one in no time. So, you’re going to need a theme (or two) to see if the mommy-to-be likes it. Here are some of my favorites: