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Ask Kelli: Parenting Teens, Who is the Parent here?

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This post was originally written in 2012 – now, I have a 15 year old, almost 13 year old, and 8 year old.  The oldest is in the Autism Spectrum.  Below are my tips and some experts tips on parenting disrespectful teenagers.

I am back with another “Ask Kelli” question.  If you are on my newsletter, then you already know that you can email me questions and I will do my best to answer them!  Be sure to put “ask Kelli” in the subject so I can find them easily.

Stephanie G. asked:  How about some tips on how to get your teen to stop parenting you? From the Mom of a 17 year old girl!!

Since I am not a parent of a teen yet, I had to go to the experts for the answer to this question. Smile  I also don’t have girls and from what I understand, they are the world’s worst at trying to act like Mom.

Ask Kelli: Parenting Teens, Who is The Parent Here?

To be quite honest, I was extremely disappointed in the quality of supposed “experts” that weighed in on this topic.  Many didn’t come close to answering the question and others gave such silly answers that I am sure they don’t take parenting problem seriously!

So, before I get to some of the “better” answers, let me just say that I am pretty sure parenting teen girls isn’t all that different than adolescent boys.  You find pregnancy tests in your child’s pockets, book bags, etc and I find bugs and lizards. LOL!  No, seriously… parenting a child in the Autism Spectrum can be VERY challenging, so with that in mind, here is my advice.

1.  Always remain calm!  Although sometimes kids go totally “whack”, if you do also it only makes things worse.  Trust me, there have been times that I have looked at my screaming child and thought, “hmmm…. you are so lucky I am a grown up!”  The one they all seem to hate?

If you want to be treated like an Adult, you need to act like one.  Go to your room and calm down.  When you are calm, let’s try to have this conversation again.

Then, ignore them until they do as they are told.  Unfortunately for them, as long as your child (no matter the age) lives under your roof, they have to follow your rules.

2.  Provide a way for them to “get it out”.  From a 2 year old breaking every crayon in the box, to a 7 year old kicking and screaming, to a 16 year old screaming “You Hate Me!”, they all need a way to release their insecurities, frustrations, and fears.  Help your child to channel it into something productive!  Turn on the music and dance to some high-stepping, bumping, music with them.  Buy them a punching bag and gloves.  As adults, (most of us) are able to make counting to 10 work.  The others run like there is no tomorrow, go hunting, pump iron, and bake the day away.  We need to release it, too!

3.  Just Listen!  As much as we Women think everyone that tells us something wants advice, I have learned over the years, unless they say, “What should I do?” they don’t!  They just want someone to hear their frustrations without judgment.  Work on this!

So, those are my tips for parenting a teenager – or any child for that matter. Smile  Let’s see what the experts have to say…

1.  When the going gets tough I tell my kids, “You don’t need me to be your friend, you need me to be your mother”  And then I mother them like crazy! 🙂 – Roberta P. Scrubz Natural Body Products

2.  “Bake a lot! Their wise little mouths will be too busy crunching on brownies to deliver any coherent verbal smack downs.” ~ Tracey L Pacelli, Teen Author,

3.  “Point to the adult. Point to the child under 18.” – Source not given

4.  I believe in teamwork.
T-teach respect, for you get what you expect.
E-engage in continual open communication.
A-acknowledge good behaviors.
M-make time to have fun with your teenager.
As always, “together, everyone achieves, more!”(TEAM)  Ali I. Champion Parenting, Inc.

5.  “If all your kids ever hear is “Don’t!”; when it comes to their dreams they won’t.”
~Ann Morgan James Author of How to Raise a Millionaire

6.  If respect from your teenager is the what you yearn, then the first step must be Listening to Learn.” ~Ann Morgan James Author of How to Raise a Millionaire

7.  During adolescence many teens attempt to claim their independence in a disrespectful way. Be sure to encourage your teen’s self-expression while holding to your expectations for respectful language, tone of voice, and body posture. Dr. Fran Walsh – Author of The Self-Aware Parent.

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Thursday 12th of March 2015

Parenting teenagers is a tough job, boys or girls. Thank you for sharing your tips and advice with Idea Box Link Party! - Christy

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Saturday 18th of January 2014

Much is considered and discussing the crimes committed through the aborigines from the white man, but it has to be remembered that this blacks were given great provocation. Not only does a digger know that it is quite possible he might find a great deal of gold with little or no trouble, but, worse still, he knows he might work quite difficult without getting any gold at all. After debating the matter and being in the opinion that this Government had no power to reimburse, they submitted the situation to the Crown Law Office because of their decision.


Saturday 21st of September 2013

This is getting a bit more sujvtceibe, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like Mixview' that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you're listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of neighbors will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune Social is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

Monday 19th of August 2013

Well to me Martial Arts means respect and discipline. I have trained in different Martial arts now for well above twenty years.

I have seen lots of people appear and disappear but one other thing that I have noticed is clearly the respect and discipline having changed those peoples perception of life.

Small children that have started which have been on the wrong side of the tracks, always in trouble and no idea how to respect other kids. Put them in a controlled environment with discipline and fighting and they soon start to understand. Martial arts is a great technique for infants and adults to get rid of their aggression without hurting or bullying anyone.


Tuesday 13th of August 2013

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