I broke down to a Teacher yesterday. Geez, what am I, a leaky faucet? I am so embarrassed, but I cried and cried at the school yesterday over my child. Zack turned 10 on April 30th. We call him DQ (Drama Queen) around the house because he can be kind of Diva-ish. He has to have his hair perfect, he likes tight tops to show off his “muscles”, he gets all bent out of shape about things, he gets his feelings hurt really easily, he cooks, he takes care of his little brother, etc. He is a GREAT kid and has tons and tons of friends. Seriously, he uses my phone more than I do! Because we love him, we can pick on him. However, it is NOT ok for your child to bully him and I am about to give him permission to show these kids exactly how much of a “pud” he really is.
Zachary only weighs about 88 pounds sopping wet and has probably about 10% body fat MAX. However, he can take down his big brother who weighs about 135 and pick up his mother who weighs more than that. He is strong as an Ox and cute to boot.
Zack takes Jazz and Acro. Zack is really good at it and really enjoys it. He is hoping to add Hip Hop to the mix next year. Zachary is only on year 3 at the local dance school and has already moved up to Intermediate Advanced level. The major bulk of the kids in his dance and acro classes are in middle and high school. Again, Zack is 10… barely.
Because he is a dancer and shows it off on a regular basis, he gets picked on. There is a group of about 3 kids that pick on Zachary constantly – they call him things like Pud, Sissy, Ballerina-Boy, and Gay! He just takes it and then cries about it when he gets home. As proud of him as I am for not getting into with those boys, it makes me so upset for him and it makes it really hard for me. When I was 12 and not even tall enough to ride the rides at the Fair I stood up to a 19 year old football player and let him have it for picking on my Brother. I am a little too outspoken at times – ahem. So, it is about all I can do not to start calling some Parents about their kids!
Here is what I am asking of every parent out there – take some time and talk to your kids! Find out if people are calling them names and discuss how that feels. Trust me, I don’t think my kid is perfect and neither is yours!! Mine has called his brother fat before and I reamed him up one side and down another. LOL! We had a big talk about how HE feels when people call him names and how horrible it is to make someone else feel like that – even his Brother. So, find out if people are picking on your kid. Then, instead of dealing with the bully, be sure yours isn’t doing it, too!
If you know of some kids that are different or just a bit “Unique” talk about that kid to yours. Bring up their actual names and talk about being an advocate to that child and not a bully… make them see how it feels to call people names and discuss the crowd mentality. Some of the kids in his class will get sucked into the name calling when others are doing it so they don’t get called the same thing.
Check your kids and it will help everyone! Obviously, if you send your kids off to school you can’t be with them to know exactly what is going on and I am sorry but kids lie. I KNOW the kids are doing this to Zack because I have been there and heard it on more than one occasion. I am also pretty sure mine isn’t 100% innocent although every time he talks to me about kids hurting his feelings, I bring up the times he has hurt his Brothers or I talk to him again about some of the other different kids at his school. I try to lead by example!
Do you have some advice about how to deal with these kids (BTW, I have already talked with the teachers and the principle about it) besides just letting Zack beat them up? LOL!
Dawn
Thursday 31st of May 2012
Thank you so much for your post. My son has also been targeted by bullies. It really is frustrating trying to decide the best way to handle it. I can't claim to have figured it out. But I can offer some encouragement. My son is learning that he is bigger than the taunts. He is learning that what the bullies think of him doesn't matter as long as he is happy with who he is. He is coming out of this situation stronger and more confident. I would never have wished bullying on him. And it caused me real pain to walk this road with him. I really want to tell the little twerps (and their mothers) exactly how I feel about them. But the results of enduring together has really helped mold him into a stronger child.