Making Summer Memories

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A Teachable Moment: July 2014:  Making Summer Memories

Dr. Susan Bartell

We tend to rush through our lives on autopilot—so much to do, so many responsibilities and we are so exhausted! The summer gives us a small reprieve from that. The bright blue skies, change of routine and a break from homework and activities are a chance to reboot before we are back to the grind in the fall.  It is, therefore, important to make the most of the summer by having experiences and creating memories that you can then recall during the dark winter months, when you are tired and frazzled.

Designing memorable experiences doesn’t have to be complicated, nor does it require you to spend lots of money or demand that you come up with unique ideas for fun. Creating wonderful summer memories is about a mindset and an attitude. There are four steps to having the perfect summer experience—worthy of recall during a snowstorm, when your kids are whining, bored and cranky.

STEP #1: Pick a good time and activity. Spontaneity is good for some things, but when it comes to creating memories, it can backfire, so schedule your memorable occasion in advance. Choose an activity that you know your kids will enjoy and that is low stress for you. In fact, less is more when it comes to successful memory creation, and for kids, familiarity is comforting and makes them happy. Novelty can be exciting, but it can also be over-stimulating. A two-hour picnic at the park with their favorite foods is likely to be a good way to create a wonderful memory, driving two hours to get to a theme park to convince your kids to try scary rides, is much less likely to achieve the result that you want.

STEP #2: Control your expectations. A memorable experience is about love, emotional connection and smiles. This time is about you and your child being together and enjoying each other’s company. It is not about achieving a goal, teaching a new skill or drifting into a lecture about working hard in school. The perfect memorable experience may be snuggling on the couch doing nothing except watching re-runs and chatting about your child’s friends, life and hopes for the future.

STEP #3: Be in the moment. You will only be able to remember this special time with your child if you actually pay attention to it as it is happening. Texting, emailing or focusing on social media will get in the way of you and your child bonding and sharing. Your memorable occasion should not include any screens—for you or your child, except perhaps to take pictures (see Step #4).

STEP #4:  Make your memory last. When the summer is over and the school year rears its ugly head again, you may find it difficult to recall the wonderful summer memories that you created with your child. To make sure that they don’t simply fade away into the cold, dark days, spend a little time documenting the experience as it happens. Snap pictures, and if your child is old enough, let him take shots from his perspective as well. When the day is over, make an album or a scrapbook. If you like to journal, document the day in writing so you can re-read it whenever you feel like it.

Kids grow up very fast, so be sure to make new memories at every age and stage. You will be happy that you did, and when your child is all grown up, these will be part of the fabric of her life—a warm, loving connection with you.

Dr. Susan Bartell is a nationally recognized parenting psychologist and author in New York. You can learn more about her at www.drsusanbartell.com

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