It can sometimes be hard to know how to help a friend who is going through a crisis. Friendship is critically important to someone who has lost a loved one, has a chronic illness or is struggling with depression, is unexpectedly unemployed, is going through a divorce or separation or any other significant hardship. Things are difficult around here right now. A girl, only a year older than me, passed away last week leaving two very small girls and a husband behind. It was very unexpected and it got me to thinking… how can I show support?
These types of hardships take a physical and emotional toll on anyone. It is during these difficult times that your friend needs to know that you really care for them. You can show your friend how much you value them by supporting them during these hard times.
Spend time with them
Many times people going through illness or coping with a death or loss feel especially isolated and lonely. One of the best things you can do to help them is simply spending time with them. It can be challenging and even awkward, not knowing quite what to say, but don’t let that keep you from being there for your friend. Here are some tips to help you:
- Listen, listen, listen. More than any advice you can give, your friend needs someone who will listen.
- Communicating regularly with your friend through visits, email, phone calls or even text shows them that you care.
- In a non-judgmental way, offer resources, ideas and advice only if they are open to your suggestions.
Offer practical help
While a hardship may be emotionally devastating, there are always the practical logistics that need tending to. Your friend may need time to grieve or attend therapy sessions. They may have transportation or childcare needs. Meeting these practical needs are a wonderful way to show a friend how much you care. Here are some suggestions:
- Drop by with frozen meals. Stock your friend’s pantry, fridge or freezer. Be sure to include some disposable plates and utensils.
- Offer rides to appointments. Even if your friend has transportation, they may appreciate having you along for support.
- Help with errands, chores and paperwork. Mow the lawn, fold laundry while you are chatting, or pick up their medications for them.
- Offer to babysit or take care of their pets while they go to appointments or to give them some time to themselves.
Give meaningful gifts
Often a meaningful gift can be a lovely way to support a friend in crisis. Just the right gift shows that you understand and care. Gifts can be a way to show your sympathy, encourage someone or brighten their day. It can be difficult to select a gift for a friend who is going through a difficult time so look for something that will be personal and meaningful. Here are some ideas:
- A gift certificate for a massage or spa treatment can be a great way to show empathy.
- Give a book with a personal note on the inside cover.
- Consider meaningful gifts for friends dealing with loss, like military charms for bracelets, memory quilts, or photo gifts.
- Flowers are a wonderful way to brighten someone’s room and spirits. They are an appropriate gift in all circumstances.
Remember, it is during the hard times that we all need our friends the most.
About Kelli
If I ever have a friend in need, the best thing I can do is cook for them and deliver meals. For my friends to not have to worry about cooking, even just for one day, is such a relief to them.