A Teachable Moment ™ December 2009

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Don’t let the holiday season pass you by!

By Dr. Susan S. Bartell

Are you already feeling too exhausted to shop for gifts and plan a holiday meal?…Are you yelling at your kids more than you’d like and it’s only the beginning of December? Are the ‘jolly’, smiling people around you getting on your last nerve because you’re feeling overworked with not enough time to juggle your regular life along with the long list of holiday related errands and preparations?

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone! You’re suffering from a case of what I call the Holiday Humdrums (or Ho Hums for short!) In fact, believe it or not, even kids experience the Ho Hums, when they are overtired, overwhelmed or over stimulated.

It’s easy to get caught up in the Ho Hums. We are inundated with party invitations, long shopping lists, events to plan, and a nagging feeling that we’re supposed to be ‘joyous’, when we’re just not quite feeling it. The pressure to be in the ‘holiday spirit’ can be overwhelming and upsetting, particularly if you really want to feel the way the media tells you that you should be feeling at this time of the year!

Well…I have a cure for the Ho Hums! If you take the following 4 straightforward steps you will be able to enjoy the holidays without feeling stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. You will also find that the true meaning of the season will come clearly into focus, giving you that feeling of happiness and joy for which you have been searching. Of course, if you’re feeling happier and more relaxed, so will your kids!

1. Have realistic expectations. The hype of the holiday season is created and driven in large part by the media and retail industries, both of which are interested in selling their products (advertising space and gifts). In the real world, it is almost impossible to have a holiday as perfect as any you see on TV or in a store display. If you don’t expect it, you won’t be disappointed. Children will have meltdowns, finances will limit gifts and Educate your child about the difference between hype and reality as well.

2. Mark the true meaning of the holiday. Remember, and remind your child of the true spiritual reasons for celebrating this season. The gifts are secondary—really and truly! Resist the urge to make them the main event and your child will too. When your spiritual self is uplifted, everything else follows.

3. Sleep enough. Resist the urge to attend (and take your child to) every single party. In addition, don’t be the last to leave. DVR holiday shows and movies that are on late at night. Making sure you and your child get enough sleep, is critical for getting you through the season happily (sleep deprivation is associated with depression and grouchiness) and healthily (it is also associated with illness).

4. Give more than you get. Economically, this is a tough holiday season for many. However, no matter what your position, you will feel enriched if you donate—money, time, emotional support, a place at your dinner table—to someone else. This is the core of the holidays. Live it and teach it to your children.

Dr. Susan Bartell is America’s #1 Family Psychologist. Her latest book is Dr. Susan’s Fit and Fun Family Action Plan. You can learn more about her on her website at www.drsusanbartell.com

This is a monthly column written by Dr Susan Bartell for my blog as well as several other media outlets (Magazines & Newspapers).  I was super excited when she offered to include my blog in her column!

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