My Life…

** this is a post I wrote as a Guest Blog a long time ago (like my second article ever) that never actually was put on the site, so I dug it out and am putting it here**

Before Kids:
1. Key words, “My Life.”
2. Able to use the restroom completely alone, but no desire to!
3. Cute (probably expensive) purse holds paper money, lipstick, fingernail file, and pager.
4. My schedule is my own, I don’t need a calendar.
5. Perfect manicure and pedicure to match my tanning bed tan.
6. Driving a brand new Ford Ranger to get me to the unknown parts of the beach… daily
7. Work only enough to buy what I want.

After Kid #1:
1. What does everyone complain about, this little tyke is adorable and doesn’t affect “MY Life” in any way! Babies are EASY!
2. Little sweetie sits contentedly while mommy goes potty.
3. Pocket calendar to schedule work, mommy & me meetings, girls’ night out, date night, doctor appointments, facials, hair cuts for me and Little Sweetie, etc
4. A bit larger purse to carry the bottle and diaper in addition to my things.
5. Love my two-door sports car (3 didn’t fit in the truck, needed a car)
6. Part- time job – with a baby, I needed a more stable income

After Kid #2:
1. New house – the beach house, 12 feet off the ground, was too dangerous for the toddler.
2. Can only potty when DH is home to help and even then I usually have people in with me or at least calling for me.
3. Totally exhausted after working outside the home for 44 hours a week – who knew kids were so expensive?
4. Purse?? Yeah right! That diaper bag holds: diapers, wipes, disinfectant, band-aids, sunblock, baby powder, bottles, sippy cups, rattles, matchbox cars, 2 outfits for each kid, juice, formula, water, tissues, coin money for the gumball machines, planner to record THEIR schedule, camera for pictures, notebook to record the things they say and do, children’s & infant’s pain medicine, cold medicine, cough medicine, kitchen sink…
5. Good-bye car, hello mini-van!
6. Mommy-and-me meetings are great… (in theory) no one wants you to bring kids that are loud, obnoxious, stinky, or seem to multiply. They want ONE, sweet, adorable, smocked clothes wearing, clean kid to come with mommy. When you get past that only child, they no longer look like that… they now only get that way for pictures.
7. What in the world are we thinking?? I take it back, KIDS ARE HARD!

After Kid #3:
1. Stay-at-home mom – who on earth has time to work?
2. Now I am home, yet my house is messier than ever!
3. If I step on one more Lego I am going to SCREAM!
4. Purse? HA HA HA!! Funny… the cargo pants work just fine: bottle in one pocket, juice in another, cellphone and keys in another, extra diaper in another. I can’t lug around purses or diaper bags, it is hard enough keeping up with all these kids! I think we should grow an extra arm for each kid we have. Those octopi have it made.
5. I haven’t had a hair cut in months and everyone keeps complementing me on my LONG hair… my own mother says it has never been this long. That is because it hasn’t been cut in 2 years!
6. This is great!!! Let’s have some more!